Robert
by Mississippi
Summary: c/m fic, fate brings them together PLEASE R+R *FINISHED* pleeeeease review
1. Chapter1

Ok this is my first SERIOUS fanfic. It will be a few chapters long with a BIG twist, please read and review thanks!  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING..  
  
Chandler Bing was one of those people who were never late for work. Despite the fact he hated it more than anything, we was always on time. This morning however, his alarm clock had run out of batteries, causing him to sleep in, and already he was an hour late. He threw on the first clothes he could find; he didn't have time to take a shower. He grabbed his tie and ran out of the door without even checking himself in the mirror.  
  
He ran down the road and tried to get a taxi, every one seemed to be occupied, the subway was packed and half of the lines seemed to be delayed or seemed to be in constant 'refurbishment'.  
  
"Shit!" he exclaimed, the only way he would possibly get to work on time was by running the 7 blocks he needed to.  
  
He ran as fast as he could, across busy streets, almost getting knocked over a couple of times, and storming into people and kicking their dogs out the way. He didn't have far to go until he ran into the one person that changed everything.  
  
Monica Geller had a job interview that morning at a restaurant right near her apartment; she'd taken all morning to look just right, it was important to her to get the job, not only to get her mother of her case, but so she could actually afford rent this month. She'd left her apartment in plenty of time going over all the recipes she could think of , all the experience she'd had, and all the great things she could say. She stopped by at her local coffee place, took out a coffee going over and over everything she knew about cooking. If she'd been concentrating she might have seen the guy with the dirty suit, bed hair and sweaty face running straight at her as she turned the corner.  
  
Chandler Bing went hurtling into the woman knocking her coffee all over her new shirt and spraying a considerable amount on himself.  
  
"Oh Shit, I am so so sorry!" he apologized  
  
Monica was about to yell at this guy for ruining her suit and therefore probably the most important interview of her life, but instead she just stood there not knowing what to say, not knowing whether to cry or laugh.  
  
"No, really I should have been looking where I was going, it not your fault."  
  
"No, really, I'm the idiot for not renewing the batteries in my clock" Monica gave him a confused look "Don't worry it's a long story" she laughed. "Er, look we got to get you a new shirt, you can't go to work looking like that"  
  
"Actually it's a job interview" She explained  
  
"Even more important then, how much time do you have?"  
  
"Three hours"  
  
"Three hours? And you were leaving now? Where the hell was the interview, France?"  
  
She laughed, "Actually, I just like to be prepared and I had nightmares that I was going to be late"  
  
Despite the fact this woman seemed painfully neurotic, Chandler liked her, she seemed really nice, and unlike most of the woman in the entirety of New York State she actually found his jokes funny.  
  
Monica liked this guy a lot, he seemed smart and funny, and appeared genuinely concerned about her, he also didn't seem too put off by the fact she was painfully neurotic.  
  
"Anyway we better get onto the shirt thing, otherwise you will actually be late!" he offered  
  
"Ok, wanna head down 59th street, they've got great designer names at low prices!"  
  
He laughed "Sure" he said  
  
They began walking, ordinarily it would be extremely awkward for two complete strangers to go shopping, but as this day was already as surreal as it could get, everything seemed fine.  
  
"So, what's your name?" he asked  
  
"Monica, and you are?"  
  
"Chandler" he said, she giggled, "Oh god, you laughed at the FIRST name"  
  
"No, its not that, it's just you don't look like a Chandler"  
  
"Ok, how many Chandlers have you actually met to be able to decide what a Chandler looks like?" he joked, "Ok, so say you don't know my name, what name do I look like?"  
  
She thought about it, "Robert" she answered.  
  
He laughed "Wow, this is quite possibly the weirdest conversation I have ever had with someone I met on the street!"  
  
They carried on down the street until they came to the shop, and talked about everything from her job interview to their childhoods. Eventually she found the shirt she wanted, and before they knew it was time for her to leave for her interview.  
  
"So, I guess I should get going" She said, sounding subtly disappointed  
  
"Yeah I'd better get to work too, I'm already about 5 hours late" He said "and, er, good luck with everything"  
  
"Thanks" she said, and went to turn to leave.  
  
"Hey, coffee!" he spurted out in an attempt to stop her leaving.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Erm, well I guess that was my way of saying, I didn't repay you for the coffee I ruined, and maybe I could after your interview?" he asked  
  
"Sure" she laughed, "I'd like that, see you later Chandler"  
  
"Robert" He corrected and winked.  
  
  
  
Please read and review and tell me what you think!! 


	2. Chapter2

Chandler waited outside the coffee place for her. Ordinarily he would be nervous as hell, but now he was unusually calm. He saw her in the distance and couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Hey, how did it go?" he said  
  
"Great thanks, they offered me the job straight away!"  
  
"That's great! That shirt must be pretty lucky eh?" He joked  
  
"Definitely!" she exclaimed, 'not only do I get the job I wanted, I also met a great guy', she thought.  
  
"So, er you wanna go and get some coffee?" he offered.  
  
They stepped inside and Chandler ordered the coffee as Monica took a seat. He looked over and smiled at her. She looked great, and could sense himself already liking her a lot. He just hoped that she liked him too. He got the coffee and walked over to their table, and took a seat.  
  
"So it went really well huh? When do you start?"  
  
"Next week! I'm really excited about it, this is the job I've wanted since forever!" She excitedly rambled on about all the work it would entail etc, and Chandler just sat back and watched as her eyes lit up and smiled at how she was so enthusiastic about it all.  
  
They talked for ages; both Monica and Chandler were amazed at how easy it was. Chandler was shocked that he hadn't managed to screw it up already by telling a stupid joke or panicking over the fact that a woman might actually be interested in him. He found he didn't need to make jokes every five minutes to impress her, that he could just be himself.  
  
Time went by quickly and before they knew it the place had cleared out and the peroxide blond waiter began to lock up.  
  
"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but are you two planning on leaving any time soon?" the guy asked.  
  
"Oh yeah, sorry I er, hadn't realised the time" Chandler explained, as they both got up and went to stand outside. They guy smiled at him, he felt bad about interrupting the two people who had seemed so desperately into each other.  
  
"So, um I better get going or my roommate will start to wonder where I am!" Monica said, and looked down at the floor, hoping he'd ask to see her again.  
  
"Yeah, sure me to" he agreed. "So, maybe I was, er, wondering if perhaps you'd maybe like to go out for dinner sometime or, or catch a movie or something?" Chandler stumbled, sensing his 'Chandlerish'-self coming to the surface.  
  
"Yeah sure, I'd love to, here's my number" She said as she passed him a slip of paper.  
  
"OK, great, I'll, er, call you"  
  
They both stood inches away from each other, for what seemed like ages, standing in the cold, dark, New York air, the only light coming down from the streetlight above them. He wanted to kiss her but was scared of rejection, as that seemed to be the immediate consequence every time he initiated a kiss.  
  
She stood there staring back at him, she wanted to kiss him but didn't want to make the first move. She saw him slowly edging forward. She smiled, it seemed almost like he was purposefully being slow to give her the time to back away incase she didn't want to kiss him back. She laughed.  
  
"Your so cute" she said, and helped him along by edging forward herself, softly placing her lips on his. He gently put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him.  
  
Eventually he pulled away. "Wow, if I'd have known I was going to meet someone as beautiful as this, I would have made an effort to shower this morning."  
  
Monica looked up at him strangely "Well, that's the weirdest reaction I've had from kissing someone!"  
  
"Oh no, I mean 'coz I was late, and I didn't have time to.., and so I didn't, but obviously I normally do, and I need to get to work, but the alarm..."  
  
"It's ok, I know, I was only joking, and maybe it's a good sign I still liked you despite the fact you haven't washed, and believe me, I'm very picky about cleanliness and hygiene" She joked.  
  
He smiled back her, breathing a sigh of relief "Also, if I had showered then I would have been later and would never have met you"  
  
She laughed, "Yeah, it's fate I guess"  
  
He smiled at her "Yeah, and, er, thanks for a nice time"  
  
"Thanks for the coffee" she said, "and thanks for being late this morning" she added  
  
"Hey, It's pretty late, did you want me to walk you home?" he offered desperately trying to make his moment with her last a bit longer.  
  
"Oh it's fine, that's my apartment right there," she said pointing to a door across the street.  
  
"Oh ok" he said, sounding a little disheartened  
  
Monica noticed this and said, smiling, "Maybe next time we can go a little further downtown and then you can ok?" "Yeah, ok" he said, grinning ridiculously, "I'll call you tomorrow"  
  
He smiled at her and began to walk backwards as he watched her cross the road and open the door to her apartment. She looked back and waved. He had to refrain himself from doing his own stupid little dance just incase she was watching him through a window or something. Instead he turned and walked away smiling to himself the whole way home. 


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, ok this might seem a bit random and jumpy, but I just needed to set up how they meet but this is where the story properly starts ok! Sorry if it seems rushed and weird but it'll work out I promise lol. Also it might seem a bit OVER soppy but that's meant to be, as you will see in due course, please bear with me all will make sense in the eeeeend.  
  
Everything happened so fast. They went out on many dates after that night. Both Chandler and Monica were falling, and fast. Neither of them had ever been in something so intense, but it was great at the same time. Chandler didn't have time to have commitment fears, one minute he was seeing this woman and the next minute he was in love with her, he couldn't even say when it happened it just did. They were both crazy about each other and everything just seemed to fall into place. Monica couldn't believe it, everything good in her life had come about at once, and she didn't expect to ever be this happy so soon.  
  
"Hey, babe can we talk?" Chandler asked when he came over for about the third time that day, they had been practically living together.  
  
"Sure, what's up?" She said, taking a seat next to him on the sofa.  
  
"My work want to send me to Paris for two weeks" Monica looked at the floor, obviously upset at the prospect of spending two weeks without him "BUT" He interjected before she could get too upset "They send if I was willing to go, they'd let you come too, for free and I could get the first 3 days off so we could spend it together, so."  
  
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'm THERE!" Monica shouted out before Chandler could carry on.  
  
"Great!" He looked at Monica who was making her way to the bedroom "Wow, you really like the idea of Paris, we starting our holiday already?" he said, grinning manically.  
  
"What?" she said, then realised what he was referring to "Oh no, I was just coming in here to start packing!"  
  
  
  
Paris was beautiful just as she had imagined it, she only wished she had more time to spend with Chandler than three days. They had arrived early in the morning French time and gone straight to bed due to the jetlag. By the time they woke up it was already 5 O'clock and beginning to get dark. They decided they would go out and have dinner, and walk around a bit afterwards.  
  
"So when do the other guys from your work arrive?" Monica asked as they walked along the riverside  
  
"Ah, er, I dunno Thursday I think, but lets not talk about work this is about you and me, and I don't want to have to think about it right now" Chandler said, Monica suspected something weird about him, he'd always divert away from the conversation every time he mentioned work.  
  
He held her hand as they walked along the river; it was deathly silent with absolutely no people about. The river was beautiful, peacefully lit up by lights shining down on it. She snuggled closer to his warm coat, the air was cold and they could see each other's breath  
  
"Hey look, lets cross here!" Chandler said pointing to a bridge that crossed straight across the river "Lets go and look at that building"  
  
The building was huge and old, with carefully crafted statues and stained glass windows decorating the exterior.  
  
"Wow!" Monica exclaimed, "It's beautiful". She stood in front of a big gate that would have opened out onto an amazing courtyard with a large fountain in the centre and arches leading to different parts of it on each side.  
  
"You wanna go in and look?" Chandler said grinning.  
  
"We can't do that! The gates locked!" Monica shouted.  
  
"Sure we can, it's not like there's anyone around!"  
  
Before she could complain Chandler had lifted her up and started to help her over the gate.  
  
"Quick!" he said pretending to sound panicked "in case someone comes!"  
  
"Don't tease me Bing!" She said, as she jumped down on the other side. Chandler carefully made his way over the gate and jumped down beside her.  
  
"See?" he said.  
  
They walked over to the fountain, their footsteps echoing around the courtyard.  
  
"Can we throw a penny in?" Monica said.  
  
"Sure" he said and handed her a penny. She closed her eyes and threw it in, joining all the other pennys and wishes that littered the floor of the fountain.  
  
"What did you wish for?" Chandler asked  
  
"Ah, that would ruin the wish wouldn't it if I told you?"  
  
Chandler smiled and leant in and kissed her as they stood in front of it.  
  
"Wow, I didn't think they came true that fast!" She said, once he had pulled away.  
  
Chandler laughed, and then suddenly his face grew serious as he glanced over her shoulder.  
  
"Oh my God!" He whispered, "Look at that man!"  
  
Monica turned to look, but there was no one there.  
  
"Chandler what are you talki.." As she turned back Chandler had knelt down on one knee in front of her.  
  
"Monica." He started  
  
"Oh my god!" She whispered back "I can't believed you remembered!"  
  
"What? That you wanted to be proposed to in Paris? How could I forget, I just needed to make up that work story so you wouldn't get suspicious!"  
  
"You mean we have two weeks together, no work to go to? That's fantastic"  
  
"Yeah, and can I carry on with my bit now? It's not THE most comfortable position to be in you know"  
  
She laughed and nodded.  
  
"Monica" he said softly "Will you marry me?"  
  
Tears began forming in her eyes and she let out a soft "yes" as he stood up and kissed her passionately.  
  
"EXCUSEZ-MOI!" A voice shouted from behind them, running their moment.  
  
Chandler and Monica jerked back, shocked by the sudden shouting.  
  
"Let's get outta here!" he said grabbing Monica by the hand leading her away from where the voice was coming from, both laughing. 


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, hope you understand what's happened; there isn't really any twist, or am I just throwing you off course so you will be shocked when there is one? Who knows.Ok, so really I'm still contemplating how to end it so there may or may not be, maybe the twist is whether there is a twist or not..hmmmmmmm. Just one thing, if I do and you guess it please don't post it in the review bit, just incase others don't realise, thanks.. Thanks for all the nice reviews and please don't hate me.  
  
She must have fallen asleep, because by the time she woke up it was nighttime. There's not much else you can do when you're just alone and waiting. Nothing had changed; she was still staring at those same white walls, thinking the same thoughts, and her face was still stained from the same tears. She remembered her dream, all that was in her mind were those happy times, she could remember how they'd met and how he'd proposed, so clearly, she didn't want to replace those memories with this. Everything had been so clear, exactly how it was, and that was all she had to hang on to now, now that everything would be like how it was. She'd never really believed anyone could ever really be as happy as she was, and now she realised that was true, it never really did happen because there was always something that would come along and smack you in your face, smack your whole body down to the ground and leave you there she thought bitterly. All she wanted was to go back to a few minutes before it happened, made him stay longer, made him go earlier, anything that would have stopped it from happening.  
  
That same man, that had bought that dreaded news, came out of the room at the end of the corridor, the words still ringing through her head.  
  
"Mrs Bing? You can come and see your husband now"  
  
She was dreading this time ever since she'd had that phone call, ever since that doctor had come and spoken to her and told her that news, that 'they'd done everything they could' and now this was the moment, the moment the reality of it all would hit her.  
  
She slowly walked into the room and saw him, his eyes closed and tubes stuck in his body. He was facing away from her, she knew he felt guilty, he never wanted to hurt her, but deep down she knew it wasn't his fault. He turned his face round to see her and smiled as much as he could. Monica tried to smile back hard as she could, she was shocked by the cuts and damage to his face, but she knew they wouldn't even compare to the scars inside. She wanted to cry but she had to be strong, she wanted him to know it would be ok. She silently walked over to him and held his hand and gently sat down next to him.  
  
"Did they tell you?" he said, weakly  
  
She looked at him and silently nodded, she feared if she said anything she would break down.  
  
"I'm so sorry Monica, it's all my fault I should have been looking" Chandler said on the verge of breaking down "And now it's ruined everything we have"  
  
"Chandler, please don't say that, it's that jerk driving his car like a maniac that did this, and I promise there still has to be a chance"  
  
"Mon, you heard what they said, 'irreparable liver damage'" Chandler said, tears slowly forming in his eyes and rolling down the side of his face, stinging the wounds. He couldn't look at her seeing all the hurt in her eyes, he'd ruined everything for her, there was so much left he wanted to do for her and now he couldn't.  
  
"There's still hope, there always is," she slowly said, no longer being able to hold back the tears.  
  
They just sat there in silence looking at each other, just wanting time to stop right there and then for ever.  
  
"Don't leave," he said, breaking the silence in the room. "I don't care what the doctors say I need you here the whole time"  
  
"I promise baby, I want to stay too" she replied, she couldn't believe how sad he looked, he'd lost that spark in his eyes, and she didn't know what to say, he was the one that had the freak ability to cheer her up no matter what happened, and now it was happening to him there was no one around to hug her and say it would be ok, to reassure her that everything would work out for the best, when how could this possibly be the best?  
  
"Don't forget me," Chandler said quietly.  
  
"Honey, how could I forget you?" Monica shot back, almost sounding irritated by the assumption that she possibly could.  
  
"I know but I want you to be happy, I want you to find someone else that can give you what I can't, you always wanted kids, and I know we were trying, but now.I can't" he said the last words so quietly as he broke down into tears, she almost didn't hear.  
  
"Chandler, there's no one out there that could replace you, or what we had, what we have" she corrected herself, while she subconsciously put her hand on her stomach, she had wanted to tell him tonight, and now she didn't know if she could, it would kill him if he knew, she noted the irony in it all as she went over it all again in her head. What she'd be constantly thinking about while waiting all those painful hours in the corridor, it just made it all worse.  
  
"But Mon, you need to have kids, you're meant to be a mum, a fantastic mum". She smiled at him, whatever it came down to he could still be the cutest guy on earth, still complement her with the sincerest honesty, like no one else ever could. She leant over and kissed him on the forehead wiping away the tears that ran down his cheeks, she knew she had to tell him.  
  
"Chandler, there's something I've been meaning to tell you, I didn't know if I should, especially not now after everything that's happened, but I probably would regret it all my life if I didn't"  
  
Chandler looked at her waiting for her to say it, hoping it would be to say everything had been some sick joke, that really he was fine and that he could go home tomorrow, or that they'd miraculously found a transplant, anything that would mean he could be with Monica for longer. When she opened her mouth though, he knew deep down that wasn't going to be the news.  
  
"I..I'm pregnant" Monica said, looking down at the floor not wanting to see his reaction.  
  
They had both been waiting for months for her to say that, and he sat up excitedly almost ripping the tubes out of him but right now that didn't matter to him, he grabbed her hand hard, making her look at him in the face.  
  
"Monica, that's fant." Monica watched his face change from extreme happiness to extreme sadness, as the realisation dawned on him. He wouldn't be there for the birth, he wouldn't be there for their first word, he wouldn't take them out to the park and teach them to ride their bikes, he wouldn't be there to sneak them cookies when Monica wasn't looking, he wouldn't be there to argue with her over who they looked like the most, he wouldn't get to see them grow up, he wouldn't get to see them. It was that face that Monica had feared seeing, despite the pain he was in, despite the fact he would never see her again, it was this that caused the most pain. Chandler had broken down now completely, Monica could understand it; she felt his pain, without him needing to say anything.  
  
"Tell them about me won't you?" he said  
  
"Of course I will" She said, crying herself "I know you'll be there anyway"  
  
"I don't know what happens to us after we die, but I promise as soon as I get to wherever we go, I'm coming straight back to be with you"  
  
Monica just smiled through the tears, and bent over and kissed him softly on the lips. Chandler didn't want it to end, their tears both running down their cheeks and mixing together.  
  
"Monica, can you pass me my keys, they're in the draw at the side," he said. Monica looked at him confused, but reached down and pulled out his keys from the draw and handed them to him. He took them and found what he was looking for. He took the key ring off the bunch of keys and handed it to her.  
  
"My Dad gave me this" he said, "I always planned on giving it to my kids, it means a lot to me, its always been passed down through my family"  
  
Monica looked at the key ring in her hand, it was a small silver watch on the end of a chain, it didn't even work any more, but Monica couldn't say anything back, she was so touched.  
  
"If it's a boy, I'll call him Chandler" she said and smiled.  
  
"No" He said "Call him Robert" Monica just smiled back at him, remembering what he had said when they'd first met.  
  
"I Love you so much Chandler" Monica said.  
  
"I love you too Monica" Chandler said looking into her eyes, if she looked closely she could still see that spark, hidden deep beneath the pain.  
  
They sat looking at each other in silence, the only sound being the rain pounding down against the window, matching their feelings. Suddenly the heart monitor beeped loudly making her jump as she watched Chandler curl up in agony as doctors rushed in and nurses pushed her outside out of the way. It all happened so fast she didn't have time to understand what was happening. The next thing she knew she was outside again staring at those same white walls realising that what she had, what she'd wanted ever since she was a little girl, the happiness she'd dreamt of having, had all been snatched away from her in a few seconds. Now everything was gone, including the hope.  
  
You don't hate me to do you? Chapter 5 coming sooon...... 


	5. Chapter 5

*7 years later*  
  
It wasn't that she loved her, she did with all her heart, but it was never how she imagined. She couldn't look at her without feeling that jolt of pain, because there was so much of him in her. She'd never got over it, she hadn't really expected to but she'd never planned on it being this hard. She knew it wasn't good for her, good for either of them, but she couldn't ever see it getting better. She felt guilty for everything, and every time she looked at the little girl it bought it all back, she was the reason his face showed that expression that she had never wanted to see, that she never wanted to see again, and subconsciously she blamed both of them, she needed to blame someone, and that was why she couldn't give her everything she wanted, that was why she didn't love her as much as she wanted to. He was supposed to be there, to share it, to help her, to hold her and tell her it would be ok, but he wasn't, and he wasn't ever going to be.  
  
Ella was different from other children, she didn't have anyone to turn to, it was just her and her mummy, and that was the way it always had been. Her mother was always miserable and sometimes she could still hear her crying through the bedroom wall, and that upset her more than anything. She had problems, she didn't fit in anywhere, and she was quiet, almost a recluse, apart from the tantrums. She was six years old and didn't understand everything and that just made it worse, Monica knew she was different and that just made the pain much worse, knowing a lot of it was her fault, she couldn't deal with that on top of everything else, and although she tried as hard there was something deep inside of her always holding her back. No one was around to understand, and that one person who probably could, wasn't there anymore.  
  
Monica stood watching her playing out in the snow alone. Ella was building a snowman, all by herself, that's how everything was done, alone. Monica couldn't help but let tears roll down her face; everything was exactly how he used to do it, the same mannerisms everything. It was killing her, but she didn't realise just how much it was hurting her daughter at the same time.  
  
Monica opened the door and went out to join her daughter.  
  
"Wow that's a great snowman Ella, what's he called?" She said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.  
  
"Tree-bore" Ella stated  
  
"That's an unusual name" Monica replied  
  
"He told me that was his name" Ella said, matter-of -factly.  
  
Monica shrugged it off a normal six-year-old activity but something deep down knew that there was something stranger about it. Monica walked back inside; clearly her presence was not welcomed by the girl and her snowman, and continued watching her from the inside. Monica watched as her daughter put the finishing touches on her snowman, and then suddenly started beating and kicking it to the ground until its former human self became just a lump of snow in the garden. Ella was screaming at the snowman and tears were streaming down her face. Monica felt a shiver up her spine, not from the chilly winter air, but from that deep down subconscious feeling which rose up, and the realisation of just how disturbed her daughter was drove straight into her heart.  
  
Monica ran outside and tried to comfort her, nothing worked and she just screamed and screamed.  
  
"What's wrong Ella, baby?" Monica tried, shaking her into reality, but she didn't say anything back just carried on screaming and beating at the snow. Monica was confused and distraught herself, and all she could think about was what Chandler would do if he were here, and that was when she remembered it.  
  
"Hey, Ella baby, lets go inside and play a game, I got a present inside for you" Monica said, rubbing her daughters back. Miraculously the girl ceased crying and slowly nodded her head and followed her mother inside.  
  
"Wait there ok sweetie, I'll just go and get it for you" she said seating her daughter on the couch and going into her bedroom to get it. She rummaged through the draw until she found what she was looking for.  
  
"Here" She said placing it in her daughter's hand "You're Daddy asked me to give you this"  
  
Ella opened her hand and looked at the small silver key ring, almost finding some sort of long sought after comfort in it.  
  
She looked up at her mother, hesitating as she said it; it seemed to be 'that thing' that always upset her mother.  
  
"Where did my Daddy go? Did he not love me?" She asked.  
  
"Oh, no baby, he loved you very much, but right before you were born he was in an accident and had to go to heaven" trying to explain it in terms that a six-year-old could understand.  
  
Ella just slowly nodded her head, staring at the key ring the whole time. "Is he gonna come back?" she asked.  
  
"No, baby, when people go to heaven they never come back again" Monica said sadly, holding back her own tears. She remembered what she had promised Chandler, and touched her daughters face forcing her to look up at her mother. "Want me to tell you all about him?" she asked. The little girl nodded her head, as Monica brought out photos and went on telling her stories about him, and everything she knew about him. She knew Ella probably wouldn't understand much, but even if she didn't it made her do something Monica hadn't seen her do for a long time. She smiled. Monica had never really ventured on the issue of Chandler before, always dismissing it as too painful for herself, but now she was there talking about him, and momentarily the pain was lifted, and that was what probably made Ella feel a bit better for it too. 


	6. Chapter 6

She turned the card over and over in her hand. Dr.Jefferies- Psychoanalyst. She'd been sitting by the phone for over an hour. Her daughter was only 6 years old and she was thinking of taking her to a shrink. The tantrums had become worse, she'd become violent with Monica, and Monica had been called in to her school on numerous occasions, this was her last hope. What if it didn't help? What if there were no answers? These were the questions that stopped her from picking up the phone and dialling. What if there was nothing she could do and her daughter would be like this forever? She eventually gave in and dialled.  
  
They'd decided it was best for just Monica to go to the first session, to answer some questions and try and understand why, and now here she was waiting outside his office to be called in. She knew they'd talk about Chandler, and she dreaded it. After her talk with Ella, she'd felt better and even started to get on with life. She knew now though she'd have to start bringing up things, bring back those memories she didn't want to live with, and come to the eventual reason that she was the cause of her daughters problems. Eventually she was called in to his office and the interrogation began.  
  
"What about her Father?" Dr.Jefferies asked, after they'd gone over Ella's behaviour and problems.  
  
"He died before she was born" Monica said, sadly.  
  
Dr.Jefferies shot up "Do you ever talk about him?"  
  
"Not really, it's a sensitive subject for me" Monica said.  
  
"Does she remind you of him?" He asked.  
  
Monica nodded softly.  
  
"Do you feel sometimes you can't look at her because it hurts to much?"  
  
Monica didn't like the therapist, he was telling her everything she already knew deep down. Her misery was causing her daughter pain, her self-blame was being transferred onto her child, and she was making her child feel guilty for that pain.  
  
"Have you had any partners since the death of your husband?"  
  
"No" Monica said.  
  
"So your daughter has never really had anyone to look to as a father figure or any men around her?"  
  
"No" Monica said, tears forming in her eyes as the true realisation began to dawn on her.  
  
They had talked for two hours. The Dr had suggested she try and see some more men, go on dates etc. This would not only be good for Monica, a step into finally getting over it, this change would also transfer onto her daughter. Most importantly it would allow more people into her daughters life, especially the contact of a man, she needed a father or at least someone she could look to as one. The most important thing missing in Ella's life was a father.  
  
Monica walked out of the Drs office, planning to see him in a month or so, Monica felt both relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved that finally there were answers to everything she had been asking the whole time, but sad that she was the main cause of her daughters problems. She felt guilty, not only for her daughter's sake but she felt like she had let Chandler down. Right now she needed him more than any time, but right now was the time she needed to let go, she needed to let go for her daughter.  
  
Ella seemed to be more settled, as Monica tried to be more connected and more positive towards her daughter.  
  
"What's that bear called?" Monica asked, at their fake tea party.  
  
"That's Tree-bore" Ella said.  
  
"And that one?" Monica said, pointing to a Barbie doll.  
  
"Tree-Bore"  
  
"They all have the same name?" Monica asked.  
  
"Yeah" Ella answered.  
  
"How come?" Monica asked.  
  
"Because Tree-bore told me"  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"That one" Ella said, pointing to the empty chair at the end of the table.  
  
This behaviour was better than the tantrums, the screaming and the violence, but something about it was more disturbing and more unsettling about it. Monica had talked with Dr.Jefferies about it. He said it was common among children in replacing something that wasn't there, in other words she'd created an imaginary friend to imitate a father.  
  
Monica was pleased things had become much better with Ella, she had calmed down a lot more since Monica had tried to be a lot happier and been more interested in her. She'd even been getting along well with a guy from work. He had a child, which he only saw at the weekend, after going through a painful divorce the year before. Monica and this guy had a lot in common, they'd talked about going on a few dates, and already seemed pretty close as friends. She decided she'd try and reach one of her sessions goals and actually go out on a date.  
  
"Yeah, but did you see the look on the waiters face!" Mike said, causing Monica to erupt in a fit of laughter. She hadn't laughed like that in ages, and it felt great.  
  
"So you wanna come in and get some coffee?" Monica asked, to which Mike nodded and they stepped inside. Monica paid the babysitter and put the kettle on as Mike sat down on the couch.  
  
Monica joined him and passed him his coffee. They began to start talking again when Ella appeared in the doorway.  
  
"Hey, baby shouldn't you be asleep" Monica asked  
  
"I DON'T WANT HIM TO!" She shouted, Mike just sat there looking shocked.  
  
"What's wrong baby?"  
  
"NO, TREE-BORE I DON'T WANT HIM TO!" she shouted again, this time as if to someone standing behind her.  
  
"Baby, calm down it's ok"  
  
Mike stood up to leave. Ella jumped up in fits of tears and started hitting Mike.  
  
"DON'T! STOP IT! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!" She screamed kicking his legs.  
  
Monica grabbed her and pulled her away. Mike didn't know what to do so he grabbed his coat and snuck out the door.  
  
Suddenly Ella stopped and calmed down. Instead of the screaming she began sobbing.  
  
"But tree-bore, I don't want him to take mummy away. No, it isn't tree- bore, I don't care if you like him I don't, everything will be ok if you're here tree-bore" Monica just stood there shocked listening to the conversation she was having with her imaginary friend.  
  
"I know tree-bore, and I love mummy too"  
  
Monica was touched, but at the same time a little disturbed by the unpredictability and strangeness of the behaviour, it was all starting again, the Dr. had been wrong. Finally Ella stopped crying and Monica took her to bed.  
  
She walked back into the lounge and looked at the couch, and realised Mike had left a long time ago. Monica did what she'd stopped herself doing the past month. She sat down and cried.  
  
She had stopped seeing the Dr after the incident with Mike. She still saw Mike at work but they decided they were best as friends; it would be better for Ella that way.  
  
Ella had not had a tantrum since the incident with Mike; Monica reverted to just being more positive with her, spending lots of time with her and reassuring her she loved her very much. Tree-bore was still making 'appearances', and it was still unsettling to Monica, at least it was better than the tantrums, she would tell herself, to try and put herself at ease.  
  
A few weeks later Monica and Ella were drawing picture at the kitchen table. Monica was beginning to genuinely enjoy spending time with her, without having to put on some happy front.  
  
"Look at my picture mama, it's Tree-bore"  
  
Monica looked at it and smiled "That's not how you spell Tree-bore" Monica said, correcting her spelling from 'Trebor'.  
  
"Yes it is, Trebor told me!" She exclaimed  
  
Monica just smiled at her, and took the drawing and said, "Shall we put it up on the fridge?"  
  
Ella screamed excitedly and rushed over to put it up and hold it on with magnets.  
  
The next day Monica was cleaning in the kitchen, while Ella was at school, and suddenly she heard something fall behind her. Ella's drawing and two magnets lay on the floor, and Monica turned to pick them up.  
  
Her drawing had fallen face down and when Monica went to pick it up she realised something.  
  
She stared at the lettering coming through from the front and her heart stopped as she realised.  
  
Trebor backwards was Robert.  
  
Monica couldn't believe it; she knelt down on the floor and cried. Chandler was there all along, and he was still being so sweet and so funny, just like it was in the beginning, reminding Monica of that same beginning when they first met and what she had said, symbolising the time when everything so great had begun. Everything began to make more sense, he had helped her, he had been around for Ella when things started to get rough, he'd been there to replace the tantrums.  
  
As soon as he had reminded Monica and she had kept her promise, by giving Ella the key ring, Chandler had kept his and come back to be with her and help her.  
  
All the pain was lifted. Monica knew everything was going to be all right because Chandler was there. If everything was going to be all right for Monica, then everything would be all right for Ella.  
  
THE END.  
  
Hope you all enjoyed it, I suggest you read it again especially the bit with Mike, now you know that its Chandler and you can see how cute he is. If anyone wants to email me for any reason its - Boothers85@aol.com. Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews, and JenniGellerBing you see now why I couldn't have a boy called Robert ;). 


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